Written by John Beck and Joseph Martin
I wish I could remember what led to this moment or what actions were taken with it. It seems to be a skit that never evolved into anything substantial, lingering as a mere memory that has faded over time. Sometimes, I find myself reflecting on the potential it had—the characters we envisioned, the laughs we aimed to evoke, and the stories we could have told. Yet, like so many ideas that spring to life in our minds, it has dissipated into the ether, leaving behind only a whisper of what might have been.
—
INT: Drawing Room
[a knock at the drawing room door. Sir John walks in.]
Sir John: Poop stains make me rain on fluorescent daffodils!
Sir Elsel: Go fart in your mouth you Drano chugging skin maid!
Sir John: After the torch is lit you can suck on my pig testicles.
Sir Elsel: Then run away and throw pennies to the fascists?
Sir John: Only if the pennies spark into the light of the sun chips eyes.
Sir Elsel: And so they shall, but not as brightly as they light up my asshole on new years eve. [laughter] What brings you hear tonight sir john?
Sir John: I’ll tell you what brings me here tonight. I have a quart of scotch rotting away at the inner lining of my intestines, my farts smell like diarrhea and I can’t figure out if the sun is gonna stay or if it’s gonna stay gray.
Sir Elsel: Yes, I noticed this. care for a drink?
Sir John: Yes, I think I would.
[Sir Elsel fetches Sir John a drink]
Sir Elsel: I say old chap, fancy going out for a well-prepared meal?
Sir John: This is a strong possibility.
Sir Elsel: Is our young friend Lady Stephanie shackled to her work duties this evening?
Sir John: Yes, she has been selected to labor for additional hours today. From 2 in the pm to 11:15 in the pm.
Sir Elsel: That most greatly sucks the cock of the spider swallow
Sir John:[chuckles] You used the term swallow, my friend
Sir Elsel: I select many such terms to shit out of my mouth, my well spoken friend
Sir John: Yes, that you do.
Sir Elsel: Alas, I can think of no others who may be famished and require a well-prepared meal this evening.
Sir John: Perhaps i can send an inquiry to Sir Bryan
Sir Elsel: Jolly good selection my friend, for I haven’t stroked Sir Bryan’s words in a great while
Sir John: What kind of cuisine should we partake in tonight?